Curse

Wa$d · Jul 08, 2005, 03:00 PM // 15:00

The Grand List Of Role Playing Game Clichés

>The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.

Im Still waiting for that broken flute to replace my max long sword of fortitude +29 hp and +18dmg while hp is above 50%. Strangly enough i feel this aint going to happen

>Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.

I wish i had that perfect storm bow back.....sigh

>¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.

ummmmm....sounds like ive hear this before *coughs*ascension*end cough*

>Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.

Becons Perch kind of kills this law

>If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)

At least im not alone in killing bunnies

thats all the connections i can make up to No. 123

arnansnow · Jul 08, 2005, 03:02 PM // 15:02

129. Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.

This is true as well. Hydromancer armor makes no sense at all.

135 Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.

True as well, but I won't spoil it for you.

136 Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.

Gwen is annoying, Useless, and clearly evil, yet she still helps you.

143 Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.

True, but it works in a slightly different way.

Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.

True, but it is 400 spells, and around 20 of which are useful

Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.

So very true

All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.

True as well, in multiple cases

Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.

True, but won't spoil how.

Flow of Goods Rule
The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the town you start in has a huge thriving economy and is the center of world trade, it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.

Very true.

Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.

Should be true.

Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.

FoW and Uw

"No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.

True, Pre-searing dies

Here are all the ones that I could find that worked.

Stev0 · Jul 08, 2005, 03:19 PM // 15:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wa$d

>Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.

I wish i had that perfect storm bow back.....sigh

nope... he doesnt resell it to anyone.

it all goes strait into the woodchipper out back instead of going right onto the 'Premium Items' table.

drowningfish999 · Jul 08, 2005, 03:19 PM // 15:19

30. Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.

Henchmen must have a bad case of this.

159. Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...
160. Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...

White Mantle and Shining Blade.

Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.

Don't want to give it away, but it should be obvious if you know.

Diomedes · Jul 08, 2005, 03:49 PM // 15:49

All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.

Wa$d · Jul 08, 2005, 05:53 PM // 17:53

I thoguht that site was very funny its like they play FF games alot

Diomedes · Jul 08, 2005, 06:13 PM // 18:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wa$d

I thoguht that site was very funny its like they play FF games alot

Given how they named many of the rules after FF, I have no doubt of it. Square got a lot of their money and time

-Diomedes

r4yne · Jul 08, 2005, 06:30 PM // 18:30

Shinning blade betray you? Im at hells precipce and dont recall that

AceSnyp3r · Jul 08, 2005, 06:32 PM // 18:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by r4yne

Shinning blade betray you? Im at hells precipce and dont recall that

He means the "Bad is Good" rule, with good hearted theives and whatnot.

Vilaptca · Jul 08, 2005, 07:47 PM // 19:47

Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.

Hells Precipice...and those other missions when he is...

Dragonkin · Jul 08, 2005, 07:58 PM // 19:58

hehe.

Wa$d · Jul 08, 2005, 08:03 PM // 20:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vilaptca

Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.

Hells Precipice...and those other missions when he is...

......

Soiled Egg Roll · Jul 08, 2005, 08:18 PM // 20:18

White Mantle = the Bad good people(people with authority)
Shining Blade = the Good bad people(thieves and such)

Alderman Sweet · Jul 08, 2005, 08:57 PM // 20:57

Curse of Toastmaster

Villains (especially of the "Great Unnamed Evil Casting a Malevolent Shadow Over the Land" variety) must make long, self-congratulatory speeches in which you discover how wretched and puny you are, how such-and-such a thing was happening all along but you never suspected it, how you will now drink from the Chalice of Desolation and suffer a thousand torments before your insignificant world comes to an end, etc. etc.

Every game ever made

Nairo · Jul 08, 2005, 09:11 PM // 21:11

64. # Ayn Rand's Revenge
Outside the major cities, there is no government whatsoever. Of course, perhaps that explains why it's so difficult and dangerous to get anywhere outside the major cities.

That explains all the monsters that are out to kill you as soon as you step outside the city walls... No patrol to keep them at bay. Heck, there's no defense to keep them from coming in, either. Unless the collector guys outside are ultimate NPCs...

Vilaptca · Jul 08, 2005, 10:34 PM // 22:34

I always enjoy getting a whole nasty large group of monsters to chase me and then run into town screaming "OH GOD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Sadly...everyone tells me to STFU...

Sekkira · Jul 08, 2005, 10:36 PM // 22:36

LOL! That collector should be the one going to defeat the mursaat, not you.

Eclair · Jul 08, 2005, 11:16 PM // 23:16

Collectors get killed if you lure any enemies within their range.

Nairo · Jul 08, 2005, 11:20 PM // 23:20

Well, those are the "stupid" Collectors. I betcha there are some that could kick the Lich's *** anyday of the week.